The Merriam-Webster Dictionary’s definition of confidence is “a feeling or belief that you can do something well or succeed at something” or “the feeling of being certain that something will happen or that something is true.” Now in my opinion the word feeling is questionable in the definition.
I just think the word ‘feeling’ leaves the definition wide open for interpretation. Confidence is a way of portraying one’s self as having the knowledge to succeed at the task at hand. It also is visual as in having a certain air of believability to whatever it is. Like I said that is just my opinion.
The question is, “How do we become confident?”
Confidence in say something you are just learning comes in time actually doing it. So learning the right way to do something can and should increase your confidence in that area. Then again, some people can just pick up something while others will need to practice, practice, practice. I am a firm believer of practice because it works.
It is definitely hard to feel confident when we are not prepared. By doing research on a project or speech and dressing in an appropriate manner, our confidence level should increase. So why do we still express self-doubt? How do some people come off as so sure of themselves and others feel very insecure and nervous?
We really need to look deep into ourselves and figure out why we feel this way. It may be necessary to consider the way you were raised or what you learned in school or on the job. It could also be that someone commented that you could have done something better or in a different way.
If it is the latter, it is necessary to analyze why the person said this. It could be they were trying to be helpful, but it also could be they were jealous or coming from their own insecurities or lack of feelings of self-worth. Write down all the things that come to mind and recognize them for what they are. Also remind yourself of areas where you did feel insecure but eventually overcame those feelings.
Trying something new can help our confidence level but it does come at a risk. It is the opportunity to succeed at something we never tried before, but it could make us feel even worse if we fail. If you try out small risks (or I like to say daring myself) first and accomplish them successfully, it will definitely help.
An example could be that you get very nervous public speaking. Invite a few friends over to hear a short version of your speech. You are still in your comfort zone because you trust these individuals, but you are also taking a risk that they may not react the way you want them to. It is a gamble, but it is a small one, and most likely you will do a great job.
Seek out others whom you perceive as having mastered being confident. Ask them what challenges they overcame and if these can apply to you. Being humble and asking for guidance can really help you shed light on strategies that might work well for you. The advice they give may not help with a current situation, but I am sure that someday you will put it to good use.
If you need a boost of confidence, try saying the phrase “I got this, I got this.” By showing a more positive attitude, you can actually become more confident. Deep breaths and smiling will help you in this endeavor and over time your confidence will build and mature.
In summary to have confidence it is important to have the knowledge needed to do whatever it is your planning on. After knowledge the next thing to do is practice. Once those are under your belt it is the visual part, sometimes dressing the part helps but dont be someone your not. That could make you feel even less confident. Be true to who you are and dress the part for you is what is important.